NYUMA Y’UBUKWE
INCAMAKE
Maze kwandika inkuru nyinshi zivuga ku rukundo rw’abantu batandukanye. Muri izo nkuru, wasangaga abazivugwamo, wenda barahuye n’ibibazo byinshi, urukundo rwabo rukarwanywa, ariko akenshi byarangiraga ba bandi barwanywaga babanye nk’umugore n’umugabo. Icyo gihe, inkuru yasaga n’irangiye.
Ariko se koko, inkuru iba irangiye? Naje gusanga burya, kiba gisa n’aho ari igice cya mbere kirangiye, kuko ubuzima bundi baba bagiye gucamo na bwo buba buzamo indi nkuru, iba ishobora kurangira ukundi gutandukanye n’uko iya mbere yarangiye.
Mbere yo kwandika iyi nkuru, nabanje kuganira n’abantu bubatse n’abigeze kubikora ariko bikaza kuba ngombwa ko babihagarika bitewe n’impamvu zitandukanye. Ibyo abo bantu bambwiye, ni byo nashingiyeho nandika iyi nkuru kuko bamwe muri bo banansangije ubuhamya bwabo. Nizera ntashidikanya ko iyi nkuru uzayikurikira kuva ku ntangiriro yayo kugeza ku musozo wayo, yaba yubatse cyangwa akaba abiteganya, izamufasha gutekereza ku cyo ‘kubaka urugo’ ari cyo. Si inzu abantu babamo cyangwa uruzitiro rukikije aho abantu baba. Oya rwose. Ngaho reka dutangire.
NYUMA Y’UBUKWE Ep 1: AMASERANO ATAGIRA UKO ASA!
Grace na Minani, mbere y’uko babana bari barabanje gukundana igihe kinini, kuko bakundanye imyaka na bo ubwabo batari bazi. Gusa iyari ishize umwe abwiye undi ko amukunda, yari itanu. Imiryango bavukagamo yari isanzwe isangira akabisi n’agahiye. Iyo habaga ibirori barashyigikiranaga, hagira ugira ibyago, na bwo bagatabarana.
Ubwo bucuti bw’abo babyeyi b’abo bana, busa n’aho ari bwo bwabaye imbarutso y’ubucuti bw’abana babo. Iyo miryango yasuranaga kenshi, kandi birumvikana ko iyo bajyagayo batasigaga abayigize.
Muri icyo igihe, Grace na Minani, na bo wasangaga babonye akanya ko kuganira, nubwo ibiganiro byabo ahanini byabaga biganisha ku bana bigana, cyangwa ibindi bintu byoroheje. Gusa kumwe umwana aba aganira na bagenzi be wenda bakamubaza niba afite umukunzi, yaba Minani, yavugaga ko umukunzi we ari Grace, kandi na Grace yavugaga ko umukunzi we ari Minani. N’ababyeyi babo barabibonaga, gusa ntabwo bari barigeze batekereza ko muri ubwo bucuti hari kuzavumbukamo ikindi kintu. Minani na Grace bamaze kwegera hejuru, bose batsinze ibizamini bisoza amashuri abanza, maze bayakomereza mu mashuri yisumbuye. Mu biruhuko barasuranaga, bakabwirana ukuntu ku ishuri byari bimeze, ndetse Grace we kuko yari yaratangiye kuba inkumi, akabwira Minani ukuntu abandi bana b’abahungu birirwa bamutereta. Nubwo Minani atamwerekaga ko bimubabaje, yajyaga ababazwa bikomeye no kumva ko hari abahungu bakunda iyi nshuti ye. Ubwo bucuti bwabo rero bwaje gukomwa mu nkokora n’ikintu kimwe, ari icyo iki: ubwo abo bana bombi bigaga mu mwaka wa kane w’amashuri yimbuye, umuryango wa Grace warimutse, kandi birumvikana ko batari gusiga umwana wabo. Barimukanye, kandi abo bana nta telefoni bari bafite ngo wenda bari kujya bazikoresha baganira.
Ubucuti bw’imiryango yabo na bwo bwabaye nk’ubuzamo agatotsi, dore ko ka karenge kabubagaraga, katari kakibona uburyo bwo kububagara. Ibyo ariko ntibyaterwaga n’urwango, ahubwo byaterwaga n’uko aho umuryango wa Grace wari warimukiye hari kure y’aho uwa Minani wari warasigaye. Ubwo rero, bwagiye bukendera gake gake, maze na bo bashaka izindi nshuti [ndavuga ababyeyi babo bana bombi].
Burya ngo: “Abadapfuye barabonana”. Umunsi umwe ubwo Minani yari ari kuri Facebook, yabonye amazina ya Grace ndetse n’ifoto ye. Hari hashize nk’imyaka itatu bimutse. Grace yari yarabaye inkumi, mbese yarabaye umukobwa mwiza bitagira akagero! Yamwatse ubucuti, undi ubwo yari agarutseho atungurwa no kubona Minani inshuti yo mu buto, yarabaye umusore mwiza bitavugwa. Yamwemereye ubucuti, maze bahera ubwo batangira kuganira. Uwo munsi bose baryamye bitinze, kuko ibiganiro byari byabaryoheye. Bahereye ubwo, bongera kunagura bwa bushuti bwabo. Barahamagaranaga, bakibukiranya ukuntu kera bahoze ari inshuti, bakumva bifuje gusubiza ibihe inyuma ngo bongera kwisanga buri wese aturanye n’undi. Minani we yumvaga yahita abyaza umusaruro ayo mahirwe yaba abonye, maze akabwira uwo mwana ko yamukunze, akazakura abizi. Ariko izo zari inzozi.
Umunsi umwe ubwo barimo baganira, baganiriye ibijyanye n’abakunzi, baboneraho no kubazanya niba na bo baba babafite cyangwa nta bo bafite. Minani yabwiye uwo mukobwa ko nta mukunzi afite, kandi ko aba yumva bitamurimo cyane. Grace yamubajije impamvu, nuko Minani amubwira ko ari uko afite byinshi akitaho birimo n’amasomo. Icyo gihe Minani yigaga muri kaminuza. Grace na we yagezwaho, we avuga ko amufite, ko ariko aba abona uwo mukunzi we batazamarana kabiri, ngo kuko ari umuntu udashobotse. Minani yabajije Grace impamvu atamureka akaba akomeje kwitwa ko akundana na we kandi abona ko nta cyerekezo bifite, undi amubwira ko akibitekerezaho.
Haciyeho iminsi, Grace yahamagaye Minani arira, undi amubajije ikiri kumuriza, amubwira ko ari ibikorwa by’umukunzi we biri ku mubabaza. Minani yamubajije ibyo ari byo, maze Grace abwira Minani ati: “Urukundo ndabona nta kindi rumaze, kitari ukubabaza abantu. Umuntu uramukunda, ukamukunda wenyine, ariko we aho kubiha agaciro, akakubeshya ko agukunda yarangiza akirirwa asambana n’umuhisi n’umugenzi.” Minani yateze amatwi yitonze ikibazo inshuti ye yari ifite, maze aza kumubwira ati: “None se Gra, ikibazo ni ikihe? Ikibazo ni ukuba aryamana n’abandi?” Undi yamubwiye ko nta kindi kitari icyo, kandi ko ataryamana na bo atabakunda, ko ubwo ashobora kuba anamubeshya ko amukunda kandi yikundira abo baryamana. Minani yaramubajije ati: “None se Gra, aho ntiyaba ajya kuryamana na bo, bitewe n’uko wowe wanze ko mubikorana?” Grace yahise amubaza ati: “Ese Mina, ko nawe uri umusore, nawe koko wumva ko ikimenyetso simusiga umukobwa yakoresha akwereka ko agukunda, nta kindi kitari ukuryamana na we?” Minani yaramubwiye ati: “Byaterwa n’imitekerereze y’umuntu. Icyo ni ikibazo buri wese ashobora gusubiza bitewe n’icyo akunda. Jye rero, numva ko mu gihe mwabyumvikanye nta kibazo cyaba kibirimo. None se ko n’ubundi niba mukundana by’ukuri, amaherezo aba azaba ayo kubana, waba umwangira ngo bizagenda bite kandi ari we n’ubundi bigenewe? Keretse wenda umutendeka, cyangwa utizera ko ari we wawe.” Grace yahise abwira Minani ati: “Mina, sinzi niba ari ko n’abandi bakobwa bameze, ariko si abakobwa benshi banezezwa no gusabwa n’umukunzi wabo ko baryamana kandi batarabana. Nanjye rero ndi umwe muri abo.” Minani yahise amubaza ati: “None se ni uko utajya ubishaka, cyangwa ni ikindi kibitera?” Grace yahise amusubiza ati: “Ndabikenera kuko nanjye ndi umuntu. Ariko kandi, mba numva igihe kitaragera ku buryo najya muri ibyo. Mba numva nzabikora igihe cyageze, kandi nkabikorana n’umugabo wanjye gusa.” Minani yahise amubaza ati: “None se Gra, mbwiza ukuri; uri isugi? Mbese nta musore urakurunguruka?” Grace yabwiye uwo musore ko akiri isugi, kandi ko atifuza kuzabutakaza imburagihe. Minani yatunguwe no kumva ko uwo mukobwa ari isugi kuko rwose yumvaga ari ibintu bidasanzwe.
Bakomeje kujya baganira, bageraho barabonana. Uwo munsi rero bombi bishimiye kongera kubonana nyuma y’imyaka myinshi badahura. Baje kuganira, bongera kwibukiranya bimwe mu byaranze ubuto bwabo. Minani yaje kugeraho abwira uwo mwari ati: “Nkiri muto, nagufataga nk’umukunzi wanjye nubwo nta byo nari narigeze nkubwira bitewe n’ikigero nari ndimo. Maze gukura na bwo, nubwo ntigeze ngushakisha cyane, ariko nahoraga ngutekereza. Iyo natekerezaga mu bwana bwanjye, sinzi uko byagendaga kuko wahita uza ku mwanya w’imbere mu byaranze ubuzima bwanjye nkiri muto. Gusa Gra, hari ikintu kimwe mpora nkwifuriza.” Grace yari ateze amatwi uwo musore. Minani yakomeje abwira uwo mukobwa ati: “Mpora nkwifuriza kuzabona umugabo byibura ugukunda kimwe cya kabiri cy’urwo ngukunda, kuko kubona ugukunda nk’uko ngukunda, mu by’ukuri bitapfa kukorohera Gra. Abandi bashobora kuba bagukundira ubwiza bwawe babona bakoresheje amaso Imana yabahaye, ariko jye ngukunda kuko nkuzi kuva mu bwana bwawe. Ngukundira ubwitonzi wakuranye, kandi na n’ubu bukaba ari kimwe mu bikuranga buri wese yabona atiriwe abaririza abakuzi. Gusa nanone, nzi ko ufite umukunzi ugukunda kandi nawe ukunda. Nubwo bimeze bityo, sinabura kukubwira ko nanjye nagukunze ntarasobanukirwa icyo gukunda ari cyo, kandi n’ubu nkaba nkigukunda. Rwose wumve ko ngukunda Gra. Icyo kintu ujye ugihoza mu ntekerezo nibigukundira.”
Grace wari umaze akanya atumbiriye uwo musore kandi amuteze amatwi, yaje kumubwira ati: “Mina, ni byo koko ushobora kuba warankunze kandi n’ubu ukaba ukinkunda. Twakuze imiryango yacu ikundana, kandi nanjye nawe twarikundaniraga. Gusa ikibazo, ni uko twaje kugeraho tukaburana tukongera kubonana bisa n’aho hajemo kidobya. Gusa nubwo jye nagezeho nkukunda undi, sinigeze nibagirwa umusore nakunze nkatinya kubimubwira. Mina, nanjye naragukunze rwose nubwo ntigeze mbwikubwira. Hari igihe navaga ku ishuri nkakubwira bimwe mu byaranze iminsi yo ku ishuri, ndetse nkakubwira ko hari n’abantu bantereta ngo numve ko byibura wambwira ko nawe unkunda, ariko nkategereza nkaheba.” Minani yahise amubwira ati: “Sinigeze mbimenya, kuko iyo mbimenya nari kuba naratinyutse nkabikubwira.” Grace yaramubwiye ati: “Ariko nubwo ntabikubwiraga, nakoreshaga ibimenyetso Mina. Ubu se koko ko buri nyuma ya saa sita nazaga ku gusura, kuki utekerezaga ko ari urukundo rwabaga runzanye?” Minani yaramubwiye ati: “Ndibuka ukuntu rimwe na rimwe wajyaga unzanira avoka, zimwe zihiye izindi ari imikando (zenda gushya). Burya rero, birya byose wakoraga byarushagaho gutuma nkukunda. Ikibazo ni uko wenda ntabikubwiraga. Gusa Gra, ubu ndi kwibaza niba nzabasha gukunda undi, kandi nawe nkigukunda.” Grace yabanje kwitsa umutima, maze hashize akanya gato atavuga, aza kumubwira ati: “Ese Mina, ndamutse nkwizeye nkagusubiza mu mwanya wahozemo mu mutima wanjye, ntiwazigera utuma nicuza?” Minani yahise amubwira atazuyaje ati: “Gra, ndamutse mbonye ayo mahirwe nkagukunda nzi ko nta kosa ndi gukora, ni ukuri nazakubera umukunzi mwiza kandi nkazakubera n’umugabo wazatuma wajya uhora wishimiye kwitwa umugore wanjye.” Kuko Grace na we yari amaze iminsi hari ibyo apfa n’umukunzi we, yabonye ko uwo ari wo mwanya wo gutandukana n’uwo musore wamuhozaga mu marira, akegurira umutima we uwari umusezeranyije kutazigera na rimwe atuma yicuza kuba yaramukunze akamusimbuza uwo yakundaga. Bahereye ubwo barakundaga karahava.
Nyuma y’imyaka itanu bakundana, Grace na Minani bemeranyijwe ko bashobora gushyira ku mugaragaro umubano wabo. Ubwo Grace na Minani babwiraga ababyeyi babo ko bifuza kubana, babisamiye hejuru, bababwira ko babashyigikiye kandi ko ari igikorwa cyiza bagiye gukora. Imyiteguro yahereye ubwo, iwabo wa Minani bategura inkwano bari kuzakwa Grace ndetse n’ibindi byasabwaga kugira ngo ubukwe buzagende neza.
Habura iminsi mike ngo basezerane imbere y’amategeko n’imbere y’Imana, Minani yasabye umukunzi we ko babonana ngo kuko hari icyo yifuzaga kumubwira. Baje guhura babanza kuganira ku bijyanye n’imyiteguro y’ubukwe, hanyuma uwo musore aza kugeraho aha isezerano uwo mukobwa wari ugiye kumubera umugore. Yaramubwiye ati: “Gra, ndifuza kuguha isezerano ntabitegetswe amategeko cyangwa Bibiliya, ahubwo nkabikora mbitewe n’umutimanama wanjye umpatira kugusezeranya ibyo jye na wo tuzahora tuzirikana. Nshuti yanjye kandi mukunzi wanjye, ngusezeranyije ko nzagukunda mu bihe byiza, nkagukunda mu bihe bigoye, kandi muri ibyo bihe byose nkazakuba hafi. Ngusezeranyije kuzakurinda ikintu icyo ari cyo cyose cyatuma ugira agahinda ndetse n’igisa na ko. Nzakubera inshuti, nkubere umuvandimwe, nkubera umugabo, kandi nzanakubera aho ababyeyi bawe batazaba bari. Nzaguha icyo nzaba mfite cyose, kuko ibyanjye bizaba ari ibyawe. Ukubura urubyaro gutanya benshi, jye ntibizagabanya na gato urukundo ngukunda. Ubukene butandukanya abasangiye uburiri, jye ntibuzambuza kugukunda. Nshuti, ngusezeranyije kuzakubera umugabo wahoze wifuza mu bitekerezo byawe! Nzakubera umugabo w’inzozi zawe, umwe buri mukobwa wese yakwifuza kugira. Nzakubaha, kandi nzakurinda icyo ari cyo cyose cyakubabaza rukundo rwanjye.” Mbega amarira Grace yarijijwe n’ayo magambo y’uwo musore wari upfukamye imbere ye! Yaramushimiye na we agira ibyo amusezeranya. Yaramubwiye ati: “Nshuti kandi muvandimwe nkunda, nizera ko jye nawe ubuzima tugiye kubamo, buzaba ari ubuzima bwiza, kuko ngukunda kandi nawe ukaba unkunda. Ubwiza bw’urugo rwacu, ntibuzashingira ku ngano y’amafaranga cyangwa ibindi bintu bibarirwa mu mafaranga tuzaba dutunze, ahubwo ntekereza ko ruzaba rwubakiye ku rukundo ndetse n’ubucuti dufitanye. Ibyo byombi, uzankundire bizabe ari wo murunga(umugozi) tuzubakisha urugo rwacu. Nzakubaha nk’umugabo wanjye mu gihe uzaba ubasha kuzuza inshingano zawe, kandi nzanakubaha umunsi hari ibitazaba bigenda mu rugo rwacu. Nzakubaha urwaye, kandi nkubahe no mu gihe uri muzima. Nzakubera umugore umwe uzajya utuma ukumbura urugo rwawe. Sinzagutera agahinda rukundo rwanjye!” Indahiro bagiranye hagati yabo, nta ko zasaga!
Ariko se iyo tugiye gusezeranya abakunzi bacu cyangwa abagore bacu ibintu runaka, tubivuga tubikuye ku mutima, cyangwa tuba twifuza ko abakunzi bacu bumva ko akanwa kacu gasohokamo amagambo aryohereye nk’ubuki? Nkundira nsubikire aha, maze ngusabe kuzabana nanjye ejo aho uziyumvira ukuntu izo ndahiro zateshejwe agaciro bitewe n’ikintu kimwe gusa. Mwakoze cyane, kandi mwibuke gusangiza bagenzi banyu iyi nkuru kugira ngo na bo bajye baza twidagadure ariko tunigira kuri izi nkuru.
