Niba ugiye kujya mu rukundo, menya inama z’ibanze zabigufashamo kugira ngo uzabashe kurwitwaramo neza.
Ni byiza ko mbere yo kujya mu rukundo, ubanza ukamenya ibintu by’ingenzi byagufasha igihe uzaba
warabonye umukunzi. Ibi bintu bifatwa nk’inama kubatangiye gukundana, n’abasanzwe bakundana.
Nibyo bibafasha gufata neza umubano wabo no kuwukomeza, ari nayo mpamvu abantu batangiye
gukundana cyangwa abasanzwe bafite abakunzi bakwiye kumenya izi nama:
1. Ntugomba guhinduka uwo utariwe kugira ngo ukunde ushimishe umuntu
Hari umuntu iyo ari mu rukundo ibyo yakundaga byose arabireka, maze umwanya we wose ndetse
n’ibyo akora byose bikaba ari ibijyanye n’umukunzi we. Ibi ariko si byiza kuko buri wese agomba kugumana umwimerere we, ahubwo mugahuriza hamwe.
2. Ntabwo umuntu akumva utavuze
Iri naryo ni isomo rikomeye bamwe bajya bita batandukanye n’abo bakundanaga. Hari ubwo havuka ikibazo, ubwumvikane bukabura hagati y’abakundana. Umukunzi wawe akagushinja ikintu runaka, wowe aho kumusobanurira ukicecekera kandi mu by’ukuri umukunda ariko ntubimubwire. Cyangwa ugasanga umukunzi wawe aragukosereje aho kubimubwira ugaceceka ahubwo ukamwuka inabi ntumusobanurire ikibazo ufite, bityo rero ugasanga umwuka mubi urushijeho kwiyongera hagati yanyu, bamwe binabaviramo no gutandukana.
3. Intego yo kujya impaka si ukugira ngo wumvishe mugenzi wawe ko ari wowe uri mukuri, ahubwo
ni ukugira ngo wumve aho ikibazo kiri n’uko nawe abona ibintu
Ikibazo bamwe mu rukundo babigira intambara cyangwa amarushanwa ugasanga iyo hari icyo
mutumvikanyeho aho kugira ngo wumve uko mugenzi wawe abibona, wowe ahubwo ukaba uri gushakisha ibimenyetso bishimangira ko ari wowe wari ufite ukuri.
4. Ntukemere gukundana n’umuntu kuko wabuze uko ugira cyangwa kuko utinya kuba wenyine.
Hari bamwe babona ishuti zabo zose zifite abakunzi nabo bakumva barifuza uwabatetesha, ugasanga
bagiye mu rukundo (relationship) muby’ukuri batabitekerejeho nta n’intego bafite, bakabijyamo gusa
kuko barambiwe kuba bonyine.
5. Gushimira Ibyo umukunzi wawe agukorera.
Byaba ibito cyangwa ibinini, Ibyo umukunzi wawe agukorera ujye wibuka kubimushimira kuko bimutera ishyaka ryo gukomeza kukunezeza. Ariko iyo umuntu agerageza kukunezeza ntumushimire, ntunamwereke ko byagushimishije bimuca intege.
6. Ntukirengagize ibimenyetso.
Burya hari ubwo ubona amafuti y’umuntu mutaranatangira gukundana cyangwa munagitangira ariko ukamushakira impamvu, ukica amatwi ukanga kubyitaho ariko nyuma bikazarangira ya makosa ariyo
mupfuye kandi warayabonaga na mbere hose ukanga kubyishyiramo ubibona. Burya nu’bwo umuntu
ahinduka ntibiba bimworoheye.
7. Ese iyo uza kuba umukobwa/umugore cyangwa umuhungu/umugabo wari kwemera gukundana
n’umuntu umeze nkawe? Kubera iki?
Buriya wibajije iki kibazo bigufasha kongera kwitekerezaho ukareba amakosa ukora, bikaba byagufasha kugerageza kuyakosora. Mbese ukishyira mu mwanya w’uwo uyakorera.
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