Kutumvira ababyeyi kw’abana muri iki gihe, bifite impamvu zitandukanye zibitera. Nubwo kenshi uzasanga ababyeyi bavuga bati “NI ABUBU“. Nyamara burya nta kibura impamvu, nk’umubyeyi ni iby’agaciro gutangira kwiga uko uzajya uganira n’umwana wawe kugira ngo akure uko ubyifuza.
American Psychological Association ivuga ko ipfundo ryo kubana neza hagati y’umubyeyi n’umwana bishingiye ku kuvuga no kumva, kubasha kumva ibyo umwana akubwira ndetse no kumenya uburyo umubwira ibyo ushaka akabisobanukirwa ni bimwe mu bikugira umubyeyi mwiza.
Hano turakugezaho imwe mu myitwarire ukwiye kureka igihe uri kuvugana n’umwana wawe.
Impamvu zitandukanye zitera abana kutumvira ababyeyi babo
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Kuvuga amagambo menshi
Abana bato babasha kumva ibyo ubabwiye iyo ugiye ubabwire amagambo macye macye. Interuro ndende, ibiganiro byinshi, ndetse n’amagambo maremare, umwana ntabasha kubyumvira rimwe ngo amenye icyo ushatse kuvuga.
Nkuko bigaragazwa n’abahanga mu mitekerereze ndetse n’ubumenyi bwa muntu, intambwe ya mbere yo kuvugana n’umwana kuburyo abasha kumva ndetse akamenya icyo ushaka kuvuga, ni uguhagarika ibyo uri gukora ugashaka uburyo bwiza bwo kuganira nawe. Aha ukwiye kureka kuvuga wihuta muburyo umwana atumva. Hari uburyo abakuru babwire abana ibintu bidafite ubusobanuro basa nabakina bakumvako ntacyo bitwaye kuko ari abana nyamara sibyiza kuko hari ibyo umwana aba agomba kukwigiraho wowe ntubihe agaciro.
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Gusakuza no kuvuga amagambo mabi
Biragoye kubana neza n’umwana utamucyaha, kuko umwana nyine arakubagana, ariko aha birakenewe ko igihe ugiye guhana umwana witwararika. Ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko kuvuga nabi igihe uri kumuhana bigira ingaruka mbi mu mitekerereze n’imyitwarire ku mwana mugihe kizaza.
Kubwira umwana amagambo akomeye uri kumuhana biza igihe umubyeyi agize amarangamutima ntabashe kuyitwararikaho ndetse bikajyana rimwe na rimwe n’imitekerereze itoteza, ukibwira ko uri guhana cyangwa gushyira kumurongo imyitwarire ye, nyamara ahubwo biba birushaho kuba bibi.
Gusakuza, gukoresha amagambo mabi, gutukana cyangwa gukumira (kumuha) akato, ibi byose nta musaruro bitanga. Ibi byose ubikora wibwira ko umwana yamenye icyo wamuhaniye nyamara birangira umwana ntacyo akuyemo kuburyo iryo kosa yazarisubiramo kenshi.
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Kutumva umwana no kutamuvugisha
Rimwe na rimwe bijya byoroha kwirengagiza ibyo umwana ari kuvuga igihe uhuze ,reka twemere ko abana bakunda kuvuga cyane ndetse bagaca mu ijambo abakuru bari kuvuga, ariko aha kwirengagiza umwana cyangwa guceceka ni ugutakaza umwanya mwiza ndetse n’uburyo bwiza bwo kwigisha umwana kubaha no kumugira umuntu mwiza.
Ubutaha igihe uzaba uhuze utabasha kuvugana n’umwana, aho kugirango umwihorere burundu mubwire uti sinabasha kukuvugisha aka kanya kuko hari ibyo ndi gukora nimbisoza ndakuvugisha, umwana aha arabyumva rwose.
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Kwirengagiza amarangamutima n’ibyifuzo bye
Igihe wamaze kumenya ibyiyumvo ndetse n’ibyifuzo by’abana, nibwo uzabasha gutanga urukundo ndetse no kwita ku bana neza. Igihe umwana akweretse ko atishimye wimwirengagiza. Ijambo rito uti ndi kumva uko umerewe najye ndababaye, ukamuhobera, ibi nibyo abana baba bakeneye.
Kubyifuzo byabo wihita umucyaha, ngo uhite umubwira ko ariwe uri mumakosa. Urugero mu gihe umwana akubwiye ko adashaka kujya ku ishuri aho kugirango uhite umuhatira kujyayo, mubaze utuje uti kubera iki udashaka kujyayo? N’ibindi..
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Kutaganira n’umwana bya nyabyo
Nubwo tuvugana kenshi n’abana ariko ibyo tubabwira ni; gira vuba wambare tugende, kubibutsa ikintu runaka, n’ibindi. Bigire ibyibanze kuganira nyabyo n’umwana.
Shaka umwanya igihe umwana aboneka, mbere yo kuryama, igihe uri kumwoza, muvuye ku ishuri, tangira ikiganiro umwereka ko ushaka kumenya ibyo yiriwemo ko kandi wabihaye agaciro.
Aya makosa yose nuyirinda bizagufasha kubana n’umwana wawe neza kandi akubahe bya nyabyo.
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